Doubt Dungeon

Jewel of Ramstone is with Totally Entwined Group . So what should I do while awaiting edits? Why, keep writing of course!

I'm currently working on the  second book in the Medieval Quest Series and decided to fetch a bit of feedback before moving on with the story. I attached a few chapters to an email addressed to my beta readers. Feeling great about accomplishing that task without wandering to facebook,  I grinned and I hit the send button.

 My fist finds my forehead every single time I hit send. 

  I wonder why?

What did I just do?

 I'm satisfied with the storytelling, setting and characters. I truly believe I fleshed out their quirks, weaknesses and strengths. The quest is a good one. Plot twists? Yep, they're there too.

Why then, do I fist my head after I hit the send button? I took a lot of time thinking about this instead of meeting my daily writing goal. Here's what I came up with:

I want every reader

To love and hate

As they travel through

The medieval gate

I want each character

To be real in their eyes

 And rejoice in lives spared

Or weep when one dies

I must transport readers

To  a new life which transcends

And settle them softly

When the story ends.

At the risk of completely overusing the word want...

 I want to accomplish everything in that off-rhythm-rhyme. However, doubt slithers into my mind and sends me to the worry dungeon. That is why my fist finds my forehead. I'm trying to pound the doubt out. Apparently, it's embedded pretty deep.

 But I'm a writer, dammit. And I will learn from feedback, edits and reviews. I will continue to polish my craft. And most important, I will give my reader an experience.. 

I think every writer spends  a little time in the dungeon. 

I need to jump over the hurdles of doubt and worry. Does everyone feel this way? Oh gosh, there I go wondering about stuff again. I better sign off before I write another poem.

Female Image by David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dungeon Image by pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Late Night With a Caffeine Infused Writer.

 Persevere I said. It will be okay, I said.

But it doesn't feel okay. Not all the time anyway.

Have you ever started over? It not easy, is it?

(cuss word deleted)

I try to persevere in this journey back into publication. Usually I do well, but sometimes....ugh.

Well, it's done. Or it's just started. I suppose it's all in how I view it.

I've gathered my manuscript, synopses, and even updated my author bio. After researching many publishers, I sent submissions to a few. Jewel of Ramstone, needs the perfect home. Of course, all my books need a home, but I must admit Jewel of Ramstone is my favorite.

Then I waited.

Me: CHECKING EMAIL SEVERAL TIMES A DAY

  Usually I write while I wait, but I found myself coloring. Even though it was an "adult" coloring book, I put all my creativity in that, instead of working on the second book of the Medieval Quest Series. I mean, a secondary character refused to rest when Jewel of Ramstone ended. Who am I to argue with a handsome knight? Well, I was doing well with book two, and said knight was very pleased.

Before the bridge on my road to publication exploded.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. I always want to write. But damn, I sure could color pretty pictures, right?

Then the rejections began. But as many writer friends said, it is just a rejection. Keep at it. And I did/
I know it isn't my writing they are rejecting. There are a myriad of reasons publishers reject a manuscript. I'm not going to go into them, because…well, I'm supposed to be writing about perseverance.

As usual, I go around the long way to get to it.

I hope you aren't skimming

Okay this is random, but damn.

Back to the inspiration of this post.

PERSEVERANCE

You know what helps me persevere? Fellow authors.

They know the hours spent tapping away at the keyboard while the night turns to day.

They feel what I feel. Totally understand the ups and downs of the journey to publication...and beyond. 

They know the heartbreak of watching numerous works simply vanish when a publisher closes their doors.

Though authors may be going through all this, we are connected--like a single soul. 

I know, dramatic right?

Well, hell, I'm a writer. I love drama. 

And so, I'd like to dedicate this late-night-coffee-infuse-blathering post to my fellow writers:






I FEEL YOUR LOVE. I SEE YOU REACHING OUT, AND PULLING ME IN EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING.


Writer or not, words cannot convey the depth of my gratitude.

I am there for you as well.
Our community of writers, misfits, artists---whatever name society wants to put on us--we are strong.


WE will get there again. And we will celebrate with each success.

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." - Ronald E. Osborn

Will I ever master my craft? Is there a key to doing so? I don't know, but no matter how much I study, I learn something new from editors.

During edits for my book, For All Time, I learned about em dashes. That being said, I'll share that bit of knowledge with fellow writers. I mean, I'm not the only one who didn't know the correct usage of em dashes. Right? *crickets chirping* Ahem...okay I'm sharing anyway.

Time to Kick the Bucket and Spill The Contents

We all have bucket lists, right? Okay, so maybe everyone doesn't have one written down, but I bet the majority of you out there at least have one nestled in your thoughts somewhere.

Why or Why Not...that is the question.

I have post-it notes all over my work space. Some have been there for years, others for a day or two, but all of them have a quote scrawled on them.  Here are a just a few of my favorites and why I decided someone else's words were important to post where I could see them everyday.

Much Ado About Something

Sometimes I write to escape—that’s called hanging out with my characters. It’s fun and healthy. Every single person needs to escape,for just a little while.

You Can Fly!

Today, someone asked me what I was up to. It might be because I had my feet in a bowl of green grapes, but ...well I’m not even going to try to explain that.

From Conception to Release

        

 Books are like my babies. I guide, mold and offer my input through the publication process, then release them into the world. And then I miss them. Their day to day development, the late nights, and even frustrations are...gone. So, I start again. (No, I am not having any more kids. Five is plenty. I'm talking about books.)

 Funny thing is, unlike my children, I don't have complete control over the characters in my books. The main characters seem to take over while I write and I end up watching a seed of an idea grow from conception to full maturity. With some books, conception is a contest, others a request from a publisher to make a single title a series, but one is very different. Jewel of Ramstone, a medieval romance,  was inspired by a nightmare...then developed into a wonderful dream.

Sometime ideas get tucked into a "work in progress" folder, just waiting for me to infuse life giving words to the snippets of conversation I wrote down, or incomplete thoughts. They end up unfinished because I either had to tend to edits on a contracted manuscript, or because life simply got in the way. Just the same, those seeds of a story haunt me. They bounce around my mind like a sugar infused child.

I Don't Get Mad...I Write About It

I live on an island, and love the community I live in. Everyone knows everyone--except in the spring and summer. Everything changes. "Off-Islanders" swarm to the amusement park, the nearby beach, and state park. The stores fill up, the gas station lines are longer and the traffic increases. I love this time of year, but the increase of people just feels like an invasion on my island. Today, I got a taste of another kind of invasion. Rudeness.

There's a neighborhood store right next door to the bank I work at.  Today, I forgot to bring my lunch, so I stopped in the store to purchase a yogurt.

Yogurt in hand, I approached the cashier. Not only did a wench cut me off with a cartload, she smirked and nearly ran over my toes. I wanted to use the B word, and I'm not talking about beautiful. My fifteen minute  lunch break ticked away as I watched her to empty her cart... charcoal, lighter fluid, paper plates, cups, water, cat food, paper towels, cleaning supplies, 15 tubes of toothpaste, (who needs that much toothpaste?) and then she WALKED AWAY, saying she forgot something.  

Just when the cashier motioned me over to ring up my one item, the woman came running up, cutting me off again and slapped a pair of flip-flops and sunscreen on the counter. I guess she was going to the nearby beach with her fifteen tubes of toothpaste. 

Therefore, being a decent person, the cashier kindly told the customer she was going to go ahead and ring me up real quick. 

The woman put her hand on her hip, jerked her neck, reminiscent of the seagulls that hunt for garbage in the parking lot, and glared at the cashier. Then she squawked, "No. I was here first."

Wow.

I mentally started writing the rude woman into my next story:  A bank teller pours yogurt over a mean, seagull bobbing, squawking rude woman's head—then slaps a dollar on the counter and storms away. Heck with lunch. My character gets revenge.

I should wear a t-shirt: Be forewarned. I am an author. If you are rude, cruel, or just plain nasty I will write you into my next book—as a villain. Just saying....

Have you ever had such an experience? What did you do? Chime in; I'd love to know.

I'm a Writer Dammit!

Oh yeah, it took way too long, but I now realize that not everyone understands me--or why I find it necessary to write a list of how my mind works.

Just the same...take a look and tell me if you understand/relate to any of the things below. I'd love to see if anyone out there is as crazy as this author. Grin.

1. My fingers are at home on the keyboard of my laptop. Some of the letters are worn off of the keys. I write for hours on end. 
2. I don't even know that hours have passed. I've intended to do "a few edits" or "reread a chapter" and find out that the night turned to day and I forgot to go to bed. I'm not kidding. 
3. I write so long, I end up with a numb butt. When I stand,  knees crack, and I have to stretch a moment in order to stand like a woman my age instead of a stooped old lady. At that moment, I realize I have to pee--desperately. 
4. It may have been the medication, but after surgery I scribbled down notes about how I felt so I could write believably about pain.
5.  I've stood in snow so long I was just shy of freezing. Why? I had to write about it in a scene and I wanted my reader to feel it too. I know, weird right?
6. My characters become real. No, I mean it. Don't commit me. 
7. Every single aspect of day to day life is a seed for a new story, be it a snippet of conversation, a look or even a smell. 
8. Without my daily outlet of creating, there's no telling what could happen, so I don't try to find out. I have to write...then again, if I didn't, I'd have a clean house, laundry would be caught up, the butt-indent on my couch would disappear, and I'd probably eat more. 
9. When I sleep, I sometimes dream about my characters. Many great ideas come from those dreams.
10. Sometimes my  "author world" is a bit lonely. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm surrounded by people who love and support me. They congratulate me with a "Oh that's so nice!" with each contract. But they do not really understand the pure bliss of completing a book, or the joy of knowing I made a reader laugh, cry, or simply release a happy sigh. They do not understand the pain of edits, or the reason why just any picture will not do for cover art,or even why I write. All in all, I am a misunderstood creature. 
11. I am perfectly happy being different.

I'm a writer, dammit. And I certainly don't expect anyone to understand me. (Unless, of course, you're a writer too.)

(You are welcome to add to the list of crazies in the comment section! )

Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com

Reality? What’s That?

   I write in chaos. The phone rings, kids shout, someone belches the ABC’s, my laptop catches fire, but I am unaware of it all, because I am writing. Okay, so I made up that thing about my laptop, but it got your attention, right?

     That is what writing is about, getting your attention—and keeping it. I must have the same kind of focus to do that. I delve so deeply into my story that you I no longer hear what is going on around me. Yeah, most call that losing touch with reality, but I see it differently. I block out the world long enough to allow an idea to unfold and create a new reality.

     My latest release, Basket of Hope, should be unbelievable due to witches, warlocks and the magical world they live in—but it morphed into plausible while I wrote. Why? Because of the emotions from my characters Kara and Machias. The magic became secondary once I grew to care what would happen to them.  These two characters grabbed my attention, and I watched them fight for what they wanted.  Some call that crazy talk, but. I’m wagering every writer relates. At least I hope they do. (Anyone from Battysville General need not comment.)

     How do you feel about this subject? Do writers really need to delve into the depths of the worlds they create for their characters? Is it necessary to shut out reality for a little while so the author can spark the imagination of their readers?  Chime in and let me know what YOU think. 


I guest blogged this 8/15/11 on another blog..

Yeah, a funny thing happened on the way to Edit Land...

Just when I think I have a little ME time to work on edits ….

Each of my kids needs me to take them somewhere.

Dear hubby finally decides to tend the honey-do list.

I can’t concentrate with all the noise he’s creating.

The chimney has to be removed NOW?

Sigh! I have a flat tire.

This acrostic shows what most people outside the writing community think of edits--they don’t think of them at all.

My convertible isn’t in shape to transport on this writer’s journey with a flat. So, I open the trunk, shove aside the folder of edits and pull out a tire iron, (refraining from using it for anything other than its intended purpose.)

Though I prefer the world to revolve around me, I can‘t hog the fast lane, or road-rage others just because I have edits. Therefore, I fix the flat and park far away from the chimney. Next I load the kids into hubby’s old truck, and do taxi duty. Upon returning home, I help my husband break apart the chimney.

Busting a chimney is fun, by the way, and spending time with the man I love is a bonus. The flat ended up as a blessing in disguise. It made me realize how important it is to take a detour once in awhile. Destroy stress, and bind with loved ones because life goes on, edits or not. Though my first thought was to attack something other than the chimney, I ended up laughing about the situation. Laughter is just what I needed--that and a hug from a very sooty man.

Well, my dear reader, my tire is changed now and I’m heading back to edit land. To be truthful, I can’t stand this part of the journey, but like changing a tire, it is necessary. If you stay on this road with me, I promise to drive carefully, dodging unnecessary commas and excessive adjectives whenever possible. The ride may be bumpy at times, but it will end at the big town of Perfection, Publication and Party time. At that juncture in the road, I’ll send each of my followers an invitation to the party--and a chance to win a free copy of my books.


Author Note: Thank you to Marla Miller for having me as her guest blogger @ www.marlamiller.com

On the road ... Again

Okay, I told you I would share my writing journey and wow, what a ride this is.




Key in ignition: A publisher accepts my novel, Jewel of Ramstone.

Turn the key: Sign the contract and start plowing through the paperwork.

Full speed ahead: My hair looks like it does in those shampoo commercials while it blows in the wind, (I have a convertible in my pretend world.)

Tune into country music: Singing at the top of my lungs, I press a little harder of the pedal to beat a yellow light. Checking my GPS, I take the first turn into the neighborhood of editors, proofreaders, and cover artists.

Slam on my brakes: And again, a publisher jumps into my path. Luckily, I have quick reflexes.

Said publisher sticks a ticket under my windshield wiper: Wait! That's not a ticket--it's a contract for my other book, Basket of Hope! (No, I am not kidding.)

I rev up my engines: Yeah, like in the fifties movies. Brrm … Brrumm.

I wave to my fellow Wench Writers: Nic, Rain and Pamela all hop in my convertible. (We're screaming like maniacs and pouring champagne on each other by now.)

I peel rubber: Gripping the steering wheel with a huge smile on my face, I listen to my wenches sing to the blaring radio. (Seeing as I am writing this, I just decided to add a hot guy for each of us--Jac, Galeron, Blake and Iain.) Um… this convertible is getting crowded.

This is just the beginning of the journey, and I'm not slowing down. If the authorities pull me over for speeding, I'll just edit that part out of my story. I am a writer after all.
JMPowers

Non-stop Nudging Nano

I sip my coffee, in-between applying makeup, thinking of how Jules would look into a mirror from a wheelchair. (I must incorporate a hand held compact in that chapter).
I lay out my work clothes, dreaming up how her best friend, Rachel, dresses.
When my husband is frustrated about something I have to hide my grin. He is so handsome when he is frustrated. I make a mental note to incorporate the same expression on my character, Ryan.
 Every waking moment is infiltrated with book ideas. Does that make me wacky? Well maybe, but at least it also makes me a writer, a dreamer and a creator.


Undeterred by my lack of word count yesterday, I woke this morning before anyone else and jumped into the world of Steps and Stones. (That sounds painful, but you know what I mean.)
I didn't realize my husband refilled my coffee cup until he sat it beside me. At that point I heard footsteps upstairs, the T.V. blaring and laughter from my family. 
 Hours passed and I didn't realize the rest of the family awoke and made me breakfast. (Waffles in case you are wondering.)
 I get lost in whatever world I am creating at the time and hubby accepts that, filling my coffee, and kissing the top of my head before leaving. (The patience Ryan displays in the story is ... well, much like by husband.)  Do you see why I write romance?
Waffles and love, what more could one want?
Whipped cream ... on my leading character in my book. Oh my.